14 4 / 2014
"I tried to smoke pot for the first time when I was 14. Figured I could sneak a few puffs off my big sister’s little glass piece. Stuck it in my mouth trying to figure out which end I was supposed to smoke from. Tasted peculiar. Plus, I just couldn’t get how to work the thing. Eventually, I discovered that these smoking devices typically have a little indentation where the marijauna is supposed to go as well as a pathway inside of it which allows you to inhale the smoke. Glass buttplugs don’t have either of these, which is an important distinction."
14 4 / 2014
Let’s “cuddle” and when I say cuddle I mean aggressively makeout and grab me everywhere
07 4 / 2014
Anonymous asked: I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?
ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE
This kills me every time
"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"